Many people struggle to move on from a divorce and embrace dating again over 60, but for Brian Forshaw, he has happily enjoyed a bachelor lifestyle ever since his 15-year marriage ended.
The dad of two and granddad of one now chooses to date women in their 20s and 30s, despite often being mistaken for their father on dates out together.
“I’ve had families come up to me, or something has happened, and they’ve said, ‘Oh are you with your daughter’? I say, ‘Excuse me, no’. I always correct them,” he told Starts at 60 in an exclusive chat.
Now, days after appearing on SBS’ Insight show Dating After 60, Brian has opened up on juggling his wilder new lifestyle with remaining a dedicated businessman and father.
Brian, who declined to share his exact age but confirmed he’s over 60, separated from his wife Janet four years ago and began dating again just a week later. He said he now looks for three things in his partners: Mental, physical and sexual stimulation, something he said he finds in younger women in particular.
“It was like all the magic went out, it became more platonic than anything else,” he said of the moment his marriage ended. “I always say to people who are struggling in a relationship, I ask, ‘When’s the last time you had sex’? And they say, ‘Last week’, and I say, ‘Okay, and before then’? And they say, ‘Oh, I can’t remember’.”
He insisted: “That relationship is history. They haven’t screwed up yet, but that’s not a married couple.”
For him, sex is essential, as he explained: “I want it, I love it. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where it didn’t exist. But some people are together and don’t have a sexual relationship – and they are happy.”
Indeed, as he has embraced a new dating lifestyle, Brian has become more experimental in his own sex life. However, he claims he’s relatively tame compared to his housemate, who is around the same age as him and often sees more than one woman in a single day.
“One girl will be there in the day and he’ll see another at night. He’ll have sex with both of them. I say, ‘Why didn’t you stick with the first one’? And he’ll say, ‘No, no, I couldn’t get an erection. But if another girl comes in, ‘Yes I can do that’.”
He added: “Most men find, it’s somebody new and different, it’s more arousing for many guys.”
Brian however usually sees a woman for a few weeks, rather than a different one every night and, unlike his housemate, he only usually sees a woman once or twice a week.
“A lot of these young girls are looking for a mentor,” he explained. “I had a relationship with a girl who moved in for three months from Mauritius. She had to leave the country because she was a student and the visa ran out. We had a conversation about a month ago and she said, ‘Do you want to settle down, have a family’? And I said, ‘That’s not where we’re going, I’m not interested in having more children’.”
Brian, who has remained good friends with Janet since their split, said a lot of the girls he has dated simply aren’t interested in men their own age, whether it’s because they’re too immature for them, or they’re simply lacking the mental stimulation together.
“Also, maybe younger guys can be a little bit selfish in the bedroom. They may not have the experience, they may be selfish, and that’s not what I am – I know I’m not,” he added.
But while many may fall for him, he insisted he is always upfront about what he wants – and tells his dates if he’s seeing other girls at the same time.
As dating has transformed in recent years, there is now more focus on online dating sites and apps rather than traditional courting, meals out and the old rule of ‘men pay for everything’. However, Brian described himself as “old-fashioned” and likes to treat his partners when they’re out together.
“What’s wrong with these guys? They don’t know how to treat women respectfully and open the door for them and take them to nice restaurants. I am traditional, but I enjoy doing that. I would never expect a girl to buy a round,” he said.
He recently appeared alongside several other men and women in their 60s and over on the SBS show Dating After 60, and while most of them were single, he admitted he wasn’t attracted to any of his fellow guests.
“They were all very nice, but there was no way on God’s earth that I’d contemplate dating any of those women. I’m sure they’d say the same about me,” he admitted.
However, despite enjoying his dating life now, Brian insisted he wants nothing more than to settle down again.
“If someone comes along, captures your imagination, and the mental stimulation is there and they look gorgeous and the sex is great then wow, I’ll sign up today!” he said.
To see Brian appear on SBS’ Insight show Dating After 60, visit SBS On Demand here.