Losing a partner after decades of marriage can be tough and many people find themselves moving on with a new relationship far sooner than expected, craving the human companionship they are so used to. One widower, who lost his beloved wife six months ago, admitted he’s “full of guilt” after developing feelings for another woman.
Looking for advice, the anonymous man penned a letter to The Sun’s agony aunt page Dear Deirdre, writing: “I’ve met a woman I really like. We swap texts and share lots of jokes when we meet but then I go home and cry. My wife died just six months ago, so I feel full of guilt.”
The 46-year-old said his wife was 38 when she was killed in a road accident, adding: “We have two wonderful sons who are still in their teens.”
Despite regularly crying and grieving, he said he does his best to keep going because of the boys.
The man went on to say that he met his new friend, who is also alone, at a walking group.
“We chat in a light-hearted way and she knows I am in no way ready for another relationship. I don’t want to ignore her, but what can I do when I still love my wife?” He pleaded.
Agony Aunty Deirdre Sanders told the man while it’s great he’s found a new friend, it’s important that he also doesn’t get her hopes up.
“You’ve had a huge loss and it’s still early days,” she said. “It’s great that you’ve found a new friend. Make sure she’s not getting up false hopes. Take life a day at a time.”
Losing a loved one can be extremely difficult for all involved, although a new study has detailed just how serious a broken heart can be.
Research published by Rice University in the Psychoneuroendocrinology Journal has found that grief can cause inflammation that can kill. The study, which analysed the impact grief has on human health, built on previous studies which have examined the risk factors of inflammation
The study is the first in the world to confirm that grief – regardless of a person’s level of depressive symptoms – can promote life-threatening inflammation.