Grandparenting

Gran’s heartbreak at being kept away from grandkids

Jun 08, 2019

This community writer says her children have not contacted her in almost 10 years. Source: Stock/Getty Images

One grandmother has been left heartbroken after revealing her daughter and son-in-law, who lived with her for two years rent free, have banned her from seeing the children after she watched her grandson’s class play rehearsal “without seeking their permission”.

Sharing her worries on popular site Gransnet, the gran explained that, while her daughter and son-in-law lived with her, she and her husband undertook “a large amount of childcare”.

“They moved out in January, into the barn across the yard from us but still expected regular support with childcare,” she added.

The grandmother then explained, one morning, when dropping her grandson to school, the headmaster invited her to watch her grandson’s class play rehearsal.

“Because I did my daughter and her husband have stopped all contact with the children saying that it was disrespectful of me to attend without seeking their permission. I’m at my wits end trying to understand this. Can anyone help me to do so?”

The gran wasn’t the only one facing a difficult dilemma with many other doting grandparents sharing their words of comfort and advice.

“Wow, [I] am speechless! You’ve done all that for them and then they go and do something like this? How ungrateful. I’d be sorely tempted to withdraw all support,” one commentator wrote.

Another added: “Gosh, how awfully mean and ungrateful. I can’t see you did anything wrong…..just watching the little one at rehearsals. I bet your GS was so pleased that his Nan stayed to watch him. I don’t know why Grandparents are treated so appalling, and we are expected to take it on the chin only because, we don’t want to lose complete contact.”

While a third explained she’s also faced the same heartbreaking dilemma: “I wish I could help you to understand but after being estranged from our son for 6.5 years, and despite posting about this issue here on GN for 6 years, I am really know closer to understanding why some adult children behave in this way.”