Starts at 60 Daily Joke: A man joins a soccer team

Sep 13, 2019
He probably didn't expect that response. Source: Pexels

A man joins a soccer team and his new teammates inform him: “At your first team dinner as the new guy, you will have to give us a talk about sex.”

The evening arrives and he gives a detailed, humorous account of his sex life.

When he gets home, his wife asks how the evening went and not wanting to lie, but also not wanting to explain exactly what happened, he says: “Oh, I had to make a talk about yachting.”

His wife thinks this a little peculiar but says nothing more and goes to sleep.

The next day she bumps into one of his new teammates at the supermarket and asks: “I heard my husband had to make a speech last night. How did it go?”

His mate says smiling: “Oh, it was excellent! Your husband is clearly very experienced.”

The wife looked confused and replies to his team member: “Strange, he has only done it twice and the second time he was sick.”

Starts at 60 Daily Joke: Ben is walking down the street

Ben is walking down the street one day, when he sees an old friend from university.

“How are you going, James?” Ben says.

“Not so good,” says James. “I just went bankrupt and I have no idea how I’m going to take care of my family.”

“Could have been worse,” Ben says.

A few months later, their paths cross again and Ben asks how things are going.

“Our house burnt down last night,” James says, miserably.

“Could have been worse,” Ben says.

Three weeks later, they run into each other for a third time.

“Everything’s going downhill,” James says. “Now my wife has left me!”

“Could have been worse,” Ben says.

“You keep saying that! How could it possibly get worse?” James demands.

Ben shrugs. “It could’ve happened to me.”

Starts at 60 Daily Joke: A man answers a phone

A man answers a phone and hears a female voice on the other end.

“Hello, darling! I saw a necklace in a catalogue and I simply must have it. Do you mind if I use your credit card?”

“How expensive is it?” the man says.

“Only $1,200.”

“That cheap, huh? Get as many as you like! Anything else?”

“Well, there is this one ring… it’s $5,000 though.”

“Get one for each hand. Anything else?”

“Well, you know that new car we were eyeing off.”

“How much?” says the man.

“It’s $40,000.”

“Sure,” says the man. “Why not?”

“Oh, darling! You’re so generous. I’ll talk to you later.”

The man hangs up and looks around. “Did anyone drop a phone?”

Need another laugh? Have a look at some of our other great jokes here.

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