An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled: “Pull, Nellie, pull.” Buddy didn’t move.
Then the farmer hollered: “Pull, Buster, pull.” Again, Buddy didn’t respond.
Once more the farmer commanded: “Pull, Jennie, pull.” Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said: “Pull, Buddy, pull.” And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said: “Oh, Buddy is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn’t even try!”
All of his life Len from Canada had heard stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that day, they’d walk across the lake to the boat club for their first legal drink.
So when Len’s 21st birthday came around, he and his pal took a boat out to the middle of the lake. Len stepped out of the boat and almost drowned!
His friend just managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Len went to see his grandmother. “Grandma, it’s my 21st birthday, so why can’t I walk across the lake, like my father, his father, and his father before him?”
Granny looked Len straight in the eyes, and said, “Because, you idiot, your father, grandfather and great grandfather were born in January, you were born in July.”
An old retired army vet went for his annual check up with the doctor. After looking him over, the doctor asked: “When was the last time you had sex?”
The man paused for a moment as he thought about his response. Finally he answered: “1955, I believe.”
“Wow! It’s been a long while then?” the doctor replied.
The army vet shrugged and responded: “I guess so, it’s only 20:15 right now right?”