A very prim and proper older lady had a problem with passing gas. She eventually decided to head to her family doctor to deal with the issue.
After she filled out all the proper forms and had waited about 20 minutes in the waiting room the doctor called her into his office. He sat her down and asked her how he could help.
“Doctor,” she said, “I have a very bad gas problem. Yesterday afternoon I had lunch with my friends and had a few, um, er, ahhh … silent gas emissions. Last night I had dinner with my family and had four silent gas emissions. Then, while sitting in your waiting room I had five silent gas emissions! Doctor, you’ve got to help me! What can we do?”
“Well,” said the doctor raising his voice a little, “I think the first thing we’re going to do is give you a quick hearing test.”