An old farmer was getting his hand stitched up after an accident at his cattle farm. He and the doctor started chatting, with the conversation soon turning to politics.
The old farmer explained: “Well, as I see it, most politicians are ‘Post Turtles’.”
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked what a ‘post turtle’ was. The old farmer explained as best he could: “When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle on top, that’s a ‘post turtle.’
The doctor remained puzzled. The farmer continued further.
“You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while up there, he’s elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of idiot put him there to begin with.”
A university student wrote a letter home to his parents. It read: “Dear mum and dad. I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy.
“I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels. I beg on bended knee that you forgive me.
Your son,
Marvin.
P.S. I felt so terrible I ran after the mailman who picked this up in the box at the corner. I wanted to take this letter and burn it. I prayed to God that I could get it back. But I was too late.”
A few days later he received a letter from his father. It read: “Your prayers were answered. Your letter never came!”
A man shows up late for work. He’s immediately called into his boss’s office. The boss yells at him: “You should’ve been here at 8.30!”
The man replies: “Why? What happened at 8.30?”