“Hurry up or we’ll be late!” shouts a teacher to her class.
“What’s the rush?” a young student asks coolly.
“If we’re late, we’ll miss your next class!” the teacher reminds him.
The kid shrugs and says: “If you’re in such a hurry, go on without us then.”
Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first says: “I’ll have a beer.”
The second says: “I’ll have half a beer.”
The third says: “I’ll have a quarter of a beer.”
Before anyone else can speak, the barman fills up exactly two glasses of beer and serves them. “Come on, now,” he says to the group. “You guys have got to learn your limits.”
A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said: “Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!”
His wife reminded him: “Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner!”
Her husband replied: “That’s at home, my dear. Here the chef knows how to cook.”