A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband’s two.
She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket, before going to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
“Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?” he asks.
A husband and his wife decide to go out for dinner at a restaurant.
When they arrive, the husband can’t take his eyes off a drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table.
Curious, his wife asks, “Do you know that drunken mess?”
“I’m afraid so,” the husband replies. “She’s my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” the wife says. “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
One day, while babysitting her grandson, a grandmother decides to get to know him a little better.
She hadn’t seen him in a while and wanted to get an idea of what sort of present to get him for his upcoming birthday.
“Sweetheart,” she says. “Who is your favourite superhero?”
The grandson thinks for a while before responding.
“Well, it’s not Superman and it’s not Spiderman.”
“Oh,” the grandma replies. “Who is it then?”
“Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Batman.”