A young man went to the local pharmacy to buy a packet of condoms. The pharmacist told him that the condoms come in packs of three, nine, or 12, and asked which ones the young man wanted.
“Well,” he said. “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s the night. We’re having dinner with her parents and then we’re going out. Once she’s had me, she’ll want me all the time, so you’d better give me the 12 pack!”
The young man made his purchase and left. Later that evening, he sat down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents.
He asked if he may give the blessing and they agree. He began the prayer, but continued to pray with his hands pressed together for several minutes.
The girl leaned over and said: “You never told me that you were such a religious person.”
“You never told me that your father is a pharmacist,” he replied.
Out of the blue one day, a wife asks her husband to describe her.
“That’s easy,” he replies. “ABCDEFGHIJK.”
Confused, the wife asks her husband what he means.
“Well sweetheart,” he says. “It means you’re adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”
The wife blushes, but notices her husband left some of the letters out.
“What about IJK?” she asks. “What does that mean?”
“I’m just kidding,” the husband replies with a huge smile on his face.
A father’s three daughters were getting ready to go on dates on the same night. Because he was a man of tradition, the father decided he would meet the three men taking his daughter’s out to ensure their intentions were good.
The doorbell rang and the first boy arrived. “Hello, my name is Joe. I’m here for Flo. We’re going to the show. Is she ready to go?”
He seemed like a decent enough guy and the father sent his first daughter and her date on their way.
Shortly after, the doorbell rang again. “My name is Eddie and I’m here for Betty,” the young lad said. “We’re going to eat spaghetti. Is she ready?”
The father thought he was also a good lad and let his second daughter go on her date.
Moments later, the third man arrived at the family home.
“Hi, my name is Chuck and I’m here to …”
Before he could finish his sentence, the father slammed the door shut.