Daily Joke: An older lady heads to the doctors

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says: “Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much because they never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office.”

The doctor says: “I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week”.

The next week the lady goes back to his office. “Doctor,” she says. “I don’t know what you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly!”

The doctor says: “Good, Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing”.

A judge was interviewing a woman

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked: “What are the grounds for your divorce?”

She replied: “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by”.

“No,” he said. “I mean what is the foundation of this case?”

“It is made of concrete, brick and mortar,” she responded.

“I mean,” he continued. “What are your relations like?”

“I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband’s parents.”

He said: “Do you have a real grudge?”

“No,” she replied. “We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one.”

“Please,” he tried again. “Is there any infidelity in your marriage?”

“Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don’t necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes.”

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked: “Lady, why do you want a divorce?”

“Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she replied. “I’ve never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can’t communicate with me!”

An elderly couple had dinner with their friends

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house. After eating the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said: “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly”.

The other man said: “What is the name of the restaurant?”

The first man thought and thought and finally said: “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that’s red and has thorns.”

“Do you mean a rose?”

“Yes, that’s the one,” replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled: “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”