Daily Joke: Max went to the doctor’s office for his annual check-up

Jun 23, 2020
The doctor said: "Suits don't shrink just sitting in a closet. You probably put on a few kilos". Source: Pexels.

Max went into the doctor’s office for his annual check-up, and the doctor asked if there was anything unusual he should know about. Max told him that his suit must have shrunk over the last year, because it didn’t fit when he went to get ready for a wedding recently.

The doctor said: “Suits don’t shrink just sitting in a closet. You probably put on a few kilos”.

“That’s just it, Doc, I know I haven’t gained a single kilo since the last time I wore it.”

“Well, then,” said Doc. “You must have a case of Furniture Disease.”

“What in the world is Furniture Disease?” asked Max.

“That’s when your chest starts sliding down into your drawers.”

A man is speeding down the road

Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. The cop says to the man: “Are you aware of how fast you were going?”

The man replies: “Yes I am. I’m trying to escape a robbery I got involved in”.

The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, “Were you the one being robbed?”

The man casually replies: “No, I committed the robbery”.

The cop looks shocked that the man admitted this. “So you’re telling me you were speeding and committed a robbery?!”

“Yes,” the man calmly says. “I have the loot in the back.”

The cop begins to get angry. “Sir, I’m afraid you have to come with me.” The cop reaches in the window to subdue the man.

“Don’t do that!” the man yells fearfully. “I’m scared you will find the gun in my glove compartment!”

The cop pulls his hand out. “Wait here,” he says.

The cop calls for backup. Soon cops, cars, and helicopters are flooding the area. The man is cuffed quickly and taken towards a car. However, before he gets in, a cop walks up to him and says, while gesturing to the cop that pulled him over: “Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we found none of these things in your car”.

The man replies: “Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!”

Two campers were walking through the woods

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 metres in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head towards them. The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers and frantically begins to put them on.

The second guy says: “What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear”.

“I don’t need to outrun the bear,” the first guy says. “I just need to outrun you.”

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