Bubba and Earl were in the local bar enjoying a beer when they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets each for a dollar.
The following week when the raffle was drawn, they both had won a prize. Earl won first prize, a year’s supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce with extra-long spaghetti. Bubba won the sixth prize, a toilet brush.
About a week or so had passed when the men met back in the neighbourhood bar for a couple of beers. Bubba asked Earl how he liked his prize, to which Earl replied: “Great, I love spaghetti! How about you, how’s that toilet brush?”
“Not so good,” replied Bubba. “I reckon I’m gonna go back to paper.”
A blind man on a bar stool shouts to the bartender: “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says: “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a six-foot-tall black belt. The guy sitting next to me is a rugby player. The fella to your right is a professional wrestler. Each one of us is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind man says: “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
An old country preacher was fishing one afternoon when he noticed a frog sitting next to him. The frog said: “Mister, I’ve had a spell cast on me. If you’ll kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess and I’ll make you happy for the rest of your life.”
The old preacher smiled, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. After a while, he looked into his pocket to see how the frog was doing. The frog said again: “Mister, I’ve had a spell cast on me. If you’ll kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess and I’ll make you happy for the rest of your life.”
The preacher just smiled and kept on fishing. When he checked on the frog again, it said: “What’s wrong with you, fella? I said I’ve been bewitched. Just kiss me and I’ll turn back into a beautiful princess and make you the happiest man on earth for the rest of your life!”
The old preacher just smiled and said: “Frog, I’m sorry to tell you this, but at my age, I’d rather have a talking frog than a beautiful princess!”