Daily Joke: A news photographer needed a plane to take aerial shots

A news photographer needed a plane to take aerial shots. He was told by his boss that a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport. Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut and shouted: “Let’s go!”

The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.

Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot: “Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.”

“Why?” asked the pilot.

“Because I’m a photographer for cable news,” he responded. “And I need to get some close up shots.”

The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered: “So, what you’re telling me, is … you’re not my flight instructor?!”

Daily Joke: A family are driving in their car on vacation

A family are driving in their car on vacation. A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out, takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road.

The frog is grateful, thanks the man and tells him that he will grant him a wish. The man says: “Please make my dog win the next dog race.”

The frog asks to look at the dog, which limps out of the car. The frog notices that the dog only has three legs, is very fat and can barely move at all so he tells the man that he thinks it is almost impossible to fulfil his wish and asks that the man make another wish.

The man says: “Well, then please make my wife win the next beauty contest in the area.”

The frog asks him to tell his wife to get out of the car. The wife comes out of the car and approaches the frog.

The frog turns to the man and says: “Could I please have another look at the dog?”

Daily Joke: A golfer was about to tee off

A golfer was about to tee off, when the man next to him noticed that he had but one golf ball.

“Don’t you have at least one other ball?” he asked.

“Nope, I only need one ball.”

“Are you sure? What happens if you lose that one?”

“This is a very special golf ball. You can’t lose it, so I don’t need another one.”

“What do you mean you can’t lose it! What happens if you slice your shot and the ball goes in the lake?”

“That’s okay, this special golf ball senses when it’s under water and can send signals to me and I’ll be able to retrieve it. You can’t lose this ball.”

“Well what happens if you hit it into the long rough?”

“No problem, you see, this ball can detect the long grass and it sends signals to me. I’ll be able to see it easily. You can’t lose this ball.”

Exasperated, the friend asks: “Okay. Let’s say our game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your ball deep into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs? What are you going to do then?”

“That’s okay too. You see, this special ball can sense the darkness and it sends me signals. I’ll be able to get it back – no problem.”

Finally satisfied that he needs only the one amazing golf ball, the friend asks: “Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?”

The man shrugs and answers: “I found it.”

Need another laugh? Have a look at some of our other great jokes here.