A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. They were together for hours and afterwards, while they’re just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman’s house, she picks it up.
Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation. She is speaking in a cheery voice: “Hello? Oh, hi. I’m so glad that you called. Really? That’s wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye.”
She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks: “Who was that?”
“Oh,” she replies. “That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he’s having on his fishing trip with you.”
A mobile phone rings in a locker room, a man answers it and puts it on speaker
Woman: “Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
Woman: “I’m at the shopping centre and I just saw this beautiful leather coat and it’s only $2,000, can i have it?
Woman: “Oh, and I just stopped by at the Lexus dealership and saw a car I really liked, can I have it?
Man “How much is it?”
Man: “Well if it’s that much I want it with all the features.”
Woman: “Of course I will! Oh yeah, one more thing. I just finished talking to Sarah, and the house I wanted is back on the market, they’re asking $880,000 for it.”
Man: “Ok, make an offer for $900,000, if they don’t take it offer them an extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want.”
Woman: “Thank you so much honey, love you, bye!”
Man: “Love you too, bye.”
The man hung up, everyone in the locker room was staring at him in astonishment. The man then calmly looked around and asked:” Anyone know who’s phone this is?”
A man was in the public toilets and had just sat down when he heard a voice from the next cubicle saying: “Hi! How are you?”
Embarrassed, the man replied: “I’m doing fine.”
The voice said: “So what are you up to?”
The man replied said: “Just doing the same as you, sitting here!”
From next door came: “Can I come over?”
Annoyed, he said: “Rather busy right now.”
The voice paused then said: “Listen, I’ll have to call you back, there’s someone next door answering all my questions.”