After hearing the charges, the judge turned to the defendant ...

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After hearing the charges, the judge turned to the defendant.

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“Now, have you anything to say for yourself, sir?”

“F*** all,” the defendant mumbled.

“I didn’t hear that,” said the judge. “You’ll have to speak up.”

“He said ‘F*** all’, your Honour,” the clerk said helpfully.

“Surely not,” said the judge. “I thought I saw his lips moving.”

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